Supervised Ministry Assessment: Faith United Church of Christ

Position During Supervised Ministry: Spiritual Formation and Digital Christian Education Coordinator

During my time at Faith United Church of Christ my primary responsibilities were cultivating a virtual children’s gathering space each Sunday following service and creating weekly carry over exercises from Sunday-to-Sunday that allowed families to connect spiritually and theologically together. These activities were aimed to empower families to spend time weekly with their children sharing what they learned and heard during Sunday service as well as listen to their children share what they participated in during children’s gathering. Other responsibilities were helping to plan liturgy, preaching and pastoral care for congregants. What took most of my time and energy was preparation for Sunday gatherings – however – I can’t say that took energy from me. Everything I did for Faith was energizing and a true joy.

I’ve known Rev Jes Kast since Fall of 2019. I reached out to Jes during my freshman Fall term to ask for queer mentorship - an ask that Jes gets a lot for her positions within the UCC and as a representation of the rarity of an LGBTQ+ person in ministry. She thoughtfully responded with a creative outlet of emailing each other once per semester for my first year, which we did. During the shift of the pandemic, Jes put a call out for a seminarian position at Faith and I asked to be considered. We were on a call for over two hours sharing theology, hopes, and desires and it was quite clear that my direct message ask in the Fall of 2019 had arrive in the Summer of 2020. Jes is deeply committed to my spiritual development and pastoral growth. This entire experience with her as my mentor, pastor and friend has been life changing. There is nothing more I could have ever dreamed of from her and to God be all the glory for patience and endurance for arriving at this point in my journey.  

Interpersonal Relationships

            My queerness gives me insight and possibility for accepting and celebrating the particularities of people and the particularities of who each person shows up uniquely to worship, celebrate, yell, rejoice with and alongside God. This is an asset to me pastorally and an asset to the way I do life amongst human interpersonal relationships. It also requires a sensibility of poise and posture of slowing down. This means allowing for the human beings around me who do not have this skillset to come to me with their particularities as it feels best. This also means taking into consideration daily that not everyone around me has experienced the injustice that I have that has birthed a unique liberation of being in community and in community with God. That is an ever-growing and ever-becoming area of growth in human relationship and pastoral leadership.

Vocational Clarity

            Throughout this employment at Faith UCC, I have had the humbling opportunity to hear God’s pressing on my inner child and the Spirit’s healing over my own wounds. When I first arrived at seminary in 2019, I was angry at the Church for its continued abuse on my being and my community. Although processed in many forms, seminary opens up wounds and discovers hiding places of our “stuff” (if we allow it) so that we may move around the furniture of our inner home with God for the external home we offer one another. I spent the first year of my seminary education yelling a lot with God. Yelling about harm, yelling about loss of home, yelling about what now and yelling at the past. All of it was the pruning purge of Christ asking – maybe begging – “show me where it hurts.” And so, I answered in my yelling, in my crying, in my writing, in my research – in every space outside of church. When this opportunity presented itself, I think because of this purge, I was ready to step into a pastoral role without anger or bringing my “stuff” into the external space. God said, now’s the time. I’ve learned here in this time that I am very much called to parish ministry and that I am very much called to the United Church of Christ. My whole being with every fiber feels home with the UCC and deeply loved by Faith UCC. This congregation and its pastor will love me well, guide me, nourish me and support my journey to ordination. God said, these are your people.

Theological Competence

Through this opportunity at Faith, I’ve been able to participate in preaching and liturgy in various situations. This year (2020-2021) saw the most civil unrest and climatic presidential election of my current lifetime. The most theologically significant moment for me was the prayer vigil offered by Rev Jes Kast, Rev Amy and Rev Emmy Keglar (ELUCA) and myself to hold space for those in the angst and worry of what may emerge from this year’s presidential election. We prayed. We read poetry. We sat in our bodies. We sobbed. We held each other without physical touch, and it was holy. Faith and Rev Jes Kast have deepened my own theological commitments to interfaith relationships and the human aspect of the Church showing up in the here and now of our present moments to meet God for holding.  

Professional Skills

My life’s work is a continuous social passion project of care and resource. My administration, work habits and time management skills must be on the time-bending vortex and so those are always a well-oiled machine. My practice this last year has been learning to say “no” because “yes” to me equals more life for others. I have begun with Howard Thurman’s centering down questions at the outset of each week to help temper my “yes” and hold strong to my “no.” Through Faith, I have been able to preach and continue to stretch my theological and pastoral tone in who I am as a pastor in this moment and the future.

Systemic Issues

This past year of learning has been devoted to unraveling further how whiteness has shaped my upbringing, impacts my pastoral voice, and informs racist behavior within my being. In every class from this second year of seminary, I have used essays and projects to work toward this commitment. Faith allowed me to do this work in real time with liturgies, prayer, sermons, and in conversation with Rev Jes Kast.

Learning Goals – Continued Education

            Goal wise, I feel, my main goal for this job was to be able to function pastorally openly and proudly as a non-binary human and to be given the opportunity to feel God’s presence within my call in a brave space. This was true of my experience. It was humbling, life-altering and deeply renewed my own spirit for the journey ahead. I feel deeply encouraged and blessed to have a path toward ordination with a Church that feels actively in pursuit of justice, mercy and humility before and for God. I remain deeply committed to justice work within LGBTQ+ community and death care. So, my educational experiences will be centered within that framework. I hope to secure an unconventional CPE experience that is rooted in death doula work.

            Supervisor

Rev Jes Kast is a pastor, a feminist theologian, a teacher, a mother, a spiritual guide, and a friend. I cannot imagine my ordination journey without her support, care and love. I cannot imagine doing ministry without her at Faith. Thanks be to God for sending her into my path for this here and now moment.

            Leadership

I don’t believe in hierarchal leadership. I believe in the community that is the church weaving resources for the jubilee of here and now and the heartache of our human sins. My “model” is that of Christ and the circle that draws wide and leaves no one hungry.

Pastoral Imagination

This job at Faith UCC stretched my pastoral imagination to see how much I love Christian education and sitting with youth pastorally. Children illuminate to us God’s desire for childlike imagination in our faith and living. And, I am so grateful for the ways the children of Faith challenged, strengthened, and loved one another during out time together.